My Dear Sam
by cosmo-queen
Summary: Some of the thoughts going through Frodo's head when he gives Sam that silent look at the end of ROTK.


xOx

**DISCLAIMER: **Everything and anything Lord of the Rings related belongs to the biggest genius that ever lived, J.R.R Tolkien. Not me.

xOx

**MY DEAR SAM**

xOx

My dear Sam. For thirteen months, we travelled together on the Quest to destroy the Ring. Neither of us could have known when we set out from the comforts of the Shire that we would journey through the most desolate of wastelands, so full of enemies and evil. How could we have known? For not even in his most dangerous of tales did Bilbo ever speak of the plains of despair and pits of darkness that we encountered. Places so devoid of hope that I thought they would consume me. Perhaps they would have, had you not been there, Sam, reassuring me that we would yet see the light of the Sun, hear the songs of birds and feel the fresh breeze on our faces as it passed through the trees and out to the Sea.

At the time, I could not envision such a future for my mind was overcome by shadows. Sometimes though, I'd let myself watch as your eyes glazed over with the memories of these simple pleasures and in those moments, I'd become determined not to fail. I did not anticipate surviving to enjoy the return of feeling such sensations, but I promised myself that you would one day be able to go back to the simple way of living that you so love. However, I see now that having trust in you, my dear Sam, is not a misplaced thing. For today, I woke up to find I was lying in a warm bed, with gentle rays of sunlight pouring onto my face. Soon enough, the laughter of birds echoed around my room while a gentle wind whispered to me as it passed through an open window. I was living a happy dream, as opposed to dreaming of a happy life.

More importantly, I had found beauty again. A beauty that I had thought was lost to me forever. And it is thanks to you, Samwise Gamgee, that I have this second chance to live and experience wonder with what the world has to offer again. But that is just one of the things I must thank you for, my dear Sam. Had you not been there to pull me up from the depths of Mount Doom, I would have fallen into fire, having forgotten everything about life except death. I would not have even made it to Mount Doom had you not been my side throughout the Quest. I would have succumbed to the lure of the Ring long before. My madness would have sentenced Middle-Earth to destruction, and my failure would have led not only to my torture at the hands of Sauron, but the torture of all free-loving inhabitants of Middle-Earth. So you see, Sam, it is you who saved me from terrible fates. And more importantly, it is you, not I, who saved this world and allowed for an age of peace to come about.

What makes your achievements all the more remarkable is the fact that you never had to do what you did. You were under no orders to join the Fellowship. You didn't have to follow me, you didn't have to put up with me, but you did so anyway. I know what you would say, my dear Sam, that you were acting only out of love and loyalty to our friendship. Know this, however, Sam, that you went above and beyond what is required of a friend, for you sacrificed your safety and your happiness for me. That realisation never truly impacted on me until after the Ring had been destroyed. Sitting atop a boulder with lava flowing all around us, we believed we would melt like the rocks of Mordor below us. It was then that you cried bitter tears for Rosie Cotton, the Hobbit lass you had loved for so long, but who would never know this now. Or so you had thought then.

It was at that moment that it dawned on me how much you had been prepared to lose for me by accompanying me- the people you loved, the homeland you adored, not to mention all your hopes and dreams for the future. Time and time again, at Amon Hen, at the gates of Mordor, even after I cruelly told you to go home, you came after me when most people would not. I do not deserve a friend like you, my dear Sam, and that is why I will forever remind myself of how truly lucky I am to indeed have you as my friend. For there are few people who would have been prepared to do what you did, let alone who would actually do all that you did, and I do not think a person like you will come again in Middle-Earth for many years to come.

And yet, though you are the true hero of this tale, Samwise Gamgee, I see you simply standing by the door. Suddenly, all the fuss and praise that is being showered on me seems uncalled for. You are the one who deserves recognition, Sam. I know you would immediately claim otherwise, you would make your part in this tale seem less important than it actually was. I also know you are a simple Hobbit, who shies away from attention, who is content when he sees his friends are content, so I will not purposely make you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. However, my dear Sam, accept this: while your modesty makes your deeds all the more noble, do not underestimate your own worth. For there are no words in any language on this Middle-Earth that can ever truly express the great love, admiration and gratitude I feel for you and all that you have done for me.

That is why, though my heart rejoices to be reunited with the other members of the Fellowship, after thirteen months of seeing each other almost every day, my heart is happiest to see you. Although the Fellowship all shared a common goal, our paths led us on different journeys, and only you will ever truly understand my journey. Only you walked the same path, and for the most part, shared the same experiences as me. No doubt these experiences have left you with scars that you will have to endure forever, for I know they have me, but my heart is lightened by the fact that you are alive and looking well. For that, I am relieved, as I would never have been able to live with myself had something happened to you, knowing there is so much more you have left to do in life. Now that the Ring is destroyed and you can finally fulfil your dreams, I wish you every happiness, my dear Sam. I would ask that you live for you now, without always worrying about me. If our bond of friendship was able to survive the Quest, then it is something that will endure forever, beyond the limits of time and space.

If a day does come, though, when we can no longer see each other anymore, then know this, my dear Sam: you will forever be in my heart and the sacrifices and bravery behind your actions will never be forgotten by me. No matter what others may say, to me, you will always be the most courageous, loyal and selfless of all Hobbits, and if ever you feel defeated or full of despair, the following would be my message to you, my dear Sam. Remember the words you spoke to Faramir when we left his company? Apply them to yourself. For you have shown your quality, Samwise Gamgee. The very highest.

xOx

AUTHOR'S NOTE: It has been a very long time since I wrote any LOTR fanfiction, but even though there are no more movies being released after Christmas, having a bit of a marathon at home and watching all three extended versions of LOTR provided me with lots of inspiration to start writing about LOTR again. Top of the list was a piece on Frodo's "look" when Sam enters his room after they have had a chance to recuperate. The ideas have been there for a while, but it took a long time to get this out. However, I finally did so, and am ever so happy, because having recently finished school, I know how important friends are. I can only hope that I could be as loyal to my friends as Sam was to Frodo. Anyway, enough babbling. Please review, as that would be greatly appreciated :)


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